Karen, I am really sorry for what I said the other night. I was not thinking properly. Please understand that I have a lot going on in my mind.
I have not always been like this. When we met, I was there for you, and you have always been there for me, even when you shouldn’t have, even when I acted wrongly.
But there’s this buzzing in my head, a buzzing that’s killing me, a buzzing that keeps telling me “don’t fuck this up Matty, this is the best thing that’s happened to you”, and every time I agree with it, it causes me more pain.
I am committed to you, I am committed to us, but sometimes I just need… peace.
Peace from the world, even from myself.
You have changed me Karen, you’ve made me a better person. I know we joke all day saying how useless we are without each other, but it's actually true. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you.
I know that, sometimes, I am a jerk, who might hurt you, but I promise you, I am trying my best to become the best me, for you.
Love,
— Matthew Michael Murdock